Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
