Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
