Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
