My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
After tacos, we're chasing women.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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