I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
