Kiss
Puke
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
