But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
