She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
