Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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