i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
