I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
