his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
