There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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