I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
