I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
