I love black thongs
She is in my trunk
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
