omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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