It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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