I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
