I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
