I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
