From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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