Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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