I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
