He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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