o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
