The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
