That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
