There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
