So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
