I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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