Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My dick has a subreddit
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
