Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
