i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Dear god my vagina.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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