What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
