i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
