I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Randomize
