We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
