you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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