Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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