So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
