Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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