How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
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You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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