she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
