Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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