This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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