nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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