I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
