When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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