after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
