I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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