Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
