I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
