You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
