So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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