i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
