why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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