Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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